December 19, 2006

Bikes (Dim Sum)

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I over-estimated my stamina for obnoxious carols and even more obnoxious fellow human beings. On December 19, 2006, at exactly 6:32 pm the Holidays done broke me.

Posted by Gayla at 07:58 PM

December 18, 2006

Large Shadows on a Snowy Schoolyard

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This picture was taken in early 2005 with the now dead Kiev. RIP. I wanted to photograph this school but the light was so blindingly bright that day that I just wrote the photos off and forgot about them. I always intended to go back but never did. But looking back through the archives I find that I like the tree shadows in this one and there aren't any insane glares or reflections... although months later the Kiev backs would become so fucked that the only remaining "working" back made a huge spot in the lower right side of every single image. Now it has gone where cameras go to die, to a spot on the floor next to my desk as I contemplate its future.

I was drawn to post a snowy photo today because I have developed an addiction to Neighborhood #3 (Power Out) by The Arcade Fire. Actually I listen to the entire "Funeral" album constantly these days. A lot of songs seem to refer to a kind of navigating through the lies that adults tell the youth, confronting complacency in our lives, rebelliousness... themes that resonate with me as I have been in a constant state of re-evaluating choices and change. I don't ever want to stop asking myself questions but I'd like to slow it down soon and relax into something.

Posted by Gayla at 09:38 PM

December 17, 2006

Waiting

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I'm going to be doing two events in Hamilton next month on January 14. Yay Hamilton! I wish I had time to walk about a bit with my camera but I have to go straight from downtown to the RBG.

-----------------------

The other day Davin was the first person ever to drink a chamomile latte... the result of a mistake at the coffee shop. By the time he noticed we were too far to go back.

Posted by Gayla at 04:50 PM

July 13, 2006

Untitled (Snow)

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Posted by Gayla at 09:46 PM

June 26, 2006

$4.50 & UP

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Davin used the Kiev88 this weekend with no prompting from me. We were hilarious with our matching medium format cameras. The best comment was from a kid who thought they were lasers. The camera had some technical issues though so I hope it's not a disappointment for him. I took a ton of pictures. When I'll get around to scanning is beyond me. I took the above photo last year on a long, hot walk across Eglinton. You can tell it's the Kiev because of the light leaks.

I finally found the nearly ultimate camera bag. It sits over the shoulder but isn't so wide that it looks like I have a giant growth out the side. It has a zip open pocket on top that allows easy access to my camera... even with the giant lens on! I can finally walk around without having my camera out and around my neck at all times.

Posted by Gayla at 03:24 PM

June 14, 2006

Blue Curtains

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I thought of you Donna:


"I'm only supposed to tell one story at a time, one story. Every writing course I ever heard of said the same thing. Take one story, follow it through, beginning, middle, end. I don't do that. I never do.

Behind the story I tell is the one I don't.

Behind the story you hear is the one I wish I could make you hear."

-- From Two or Three Things I Know For Sure, by Dorothy Allison p. 39.

I LOVE this book and have come back to it repeatedly. I know I give the impression I only read the same five books over and over foresaking all others... it's just that some books are good entertainment and others hold truths that hit me in the gut. I come back to these books when I need to be reminded of these things. And sometimes I come back to these books without knowing I need the reminder.

Posted by Gayla at 08:32 PM

May 15, 2006

Recliner

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Posted by Gayla at 10:12 PM

May 02, 2006

Post Lunch Table II

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This life of mine is very exciting right now. I am simultaneously exhausted as I am doing the work of at least 3 people, but high on the thrill of it all. You know the optimistic cynic pendulum is swinging way the hell over to the optimistic side when a reformed born-again athiest like myself is almost-sort-of (minus the whole jesus/god parts) agreeing with a surprisingly articulate and large haired woman on 100 Huntley Street. And that one hyper-cutesy-voiced blonde woman didn't make me want to puke on myself either. I'm not saying I could stand it, just that vomit did not rise up from my stomach. What next, I ask?

Posted by Gayla at 09:53 PM

May 01, 2006

Post Lunch Table

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Posted by Gayla at 06:38 PM

January 23, 2006

Election

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We're getting near the end of the day and the polls will be closing soon in my riding. Go Peggy!

Posted by Gayla at 07:35 PM

January 19, 2006

Church of the Epiphany

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I still haven't had a chance to look into the scanner situation so I feel like I'm getting near scraping the bottom of the barrel photo-wise. I'm probably wrong. Maybe you will think everything I post from here on out is the best stuff I have ever posted. That's the funny thing about The Art.

I took this picture last winter in my neighborhood. I thought the dead flower offerings were kind of sad and bleak.... and the way the Madonna is kind of gesturing to them doing that tilty-head thing. And there's all the brown and grey and an inadequate carpet of snow. It's also kind of fitting because I had a dream last night about being in a church and telling off the pastor for preaching hate and then telling off the congregation for being apathetic to it. The dream wasn't really about religion but still...

Today's Song: "Sister Christian" Night Ranger - Tonight we left the INtransit opening and made our way to an east-end pub for greasy food. It was a really strange place. They were playing a radio station featuring completely memorable but unremarkable hits of the 80's. I kept expecting that Peter Cetera "Karate Kid" love ballad to come on (the one about the "knight in shining armor"). I was sadly disappointed until "Sister Christian" came on. I told my dinner companions that whenever I hear that song I have a sudden memory of sitting in the back seat of the car driving home late at night down the hill from Lock2 having just dropped off or picked up my father from or for the night shift. I have no idea why such a small inconsequential childhood moment stands out so vividly but it does.

Posted by Gayla at 11:20 PM

December 16, 2005

SO FRESH! SO GOOD!

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I took this one a year ago and I don't think I have posted it but the memory fails. Today's post makes 771 and I gotta say that's a lot of days of pictures. I have plenty of new photos but I am currently pining for the 80mm lens so bear with me as I stroll down the remnants of memory lane. I also thought this one had a nice touch of holiday decor. And as previously stated, tacky holiday decor (and shiny things) is really the only thing I enjoy about this time of year... okay and leaveless trees. I am yet to get out on my yearly excursion to photograph the hi-rises in P-Dale. Time's a ticking.

- My pal Sarah has a new blog that is an extension of her book about Toronto's hidden gems.
- Looking forward to lunch. I've been using sushi at the Drake (they use real crab not the imitation fish + sugar crap) as a reward system for braving the cold and holiday lineups at the post office.

Posted by Gayla at 11:21 AM

December 15, 2005

Air Punching

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Good lord it's a person! Took this one on New Year's day last year. I thought it summed up today nicely.

Posted by Gayla at 07:17 PM

August 09, 2005

Davin

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one lucky bitch

Posted by Gayla at 11:28 PM

NYC Barbershop

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These lines are playing on repeat in my head.

"They say that God makes problems
just to see what you can stand
before you do as the devil pleases
and give up the thing you love.
"
-Elliot Smith (AGAIN)

And then the next line is, "but no one deserves it."

Posted by Gayla at 01:08 PM

August 08, 2005

Green Chair

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Posted by Gayla at 10:19 PM

August 04, 2005

Slightly Absurd

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Posted by Gayla at 10:54 AM

August 03, 2005

Blue with Flowers

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Six years.

Posted by Gayla at 10:42 AM

August 02, 2005

Scratchy Curtains

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It started with one song, and then another, and now I am thoroughly engrossed in the entire XO album by Elliot Smith (minus "Baby Britain" and "Amity").

We did not go to Buffalo. I got an extravagant birthday gift instead.

Posted by Gayla at 11:19 AM

July 28, 2005

Popcorn

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I'm going to ride my bike today. I'm finding it difficult to indulge myself lately.

Posted by Gayla at 11:01 AM

July 25, 2005

445 E

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Posted by Gayla at 09:51 AM

July 23, 2005

Reminds Me of My Grandmother Somehow II

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See also: 1 | 2

I've been thinking about my grandmother a lot lately. I even dreamt about her twice over the last few days. Her birthday is coming up and I ALWAYS (like clockwork) start thinking about her at this time. I even picked up two more Jamaica Kincaid books a few days ago.

I wonder who my grandmother was. She was a mystery for sure. We are both Leos. I don't follow astrology but I do know that when people who do follow astrology ask me my sign they always back up a bit and say "Oh" when I tell them. I imagine a lot of people backed off from my grandmother too. She always insisted that she didn't need anyone but Jesus. My grandmother told a lot of stories but I've been left having to read between a lot of lines to get any real impressions. All the women before me are like this. None of them ever told a straightforward story. I've had to take the bits and pieces from all of these stories I have packed into my memory and put them together to create some kind of truth.

I just read Dorothy Allison's memoir "Two or Three Things I Know for Sure" in which I found a lot of similarities, not culturally but in the sense that our family histories are so matrilineal. I especially like this part:

"But where am I in the stories I tell? Not the storyteller but the woman in the story, the woman who believes in story. What is the truth about her. She was one of them, one of those legendary women who ran away. A witch queen, a warrior maiden, a mother with a canvas suitcase, a daughter with broken bones. Women run away because they must. I ran away because if I had not, I would have died."

Posted by Gayla at 11:49 AM

July 22, 2005

Seven Days

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I attended a buddhist service for my friend Thursday morning to mark the seventh day after her passing called 'shonanoka'. I'm not religious and couldn't understand anything that was said since it was all in Japanese (although the priests did say a few words afterwards that were translated to english), but the experience was really good and profoundly shifted something inside me.

Funeral-type services have always been very negative experiences for me. In fact every single service I have attended has left me feeling angry and alienated from other humans when in my mind the point is supposed to be about coming together in our grief rather than to separate and suffer alone. I can't express how relieved I was that this experience was not like that. I went in feeling afraid and nervous and left feeling connected to others and a sense that I had let some of that anger go. At the very least I feel like a human again.

The service was supportive, meditative, contemplative, and everything I have always felt a ritual should be. I can't say for certain what the service was all about, since my experience of it had more to do with sound and smell then anything else. There was the sound of the chanting and the smell of the incense. The chanting started out sounding kind of harsh and over time became melodic and calming. As soon as it began I felt emotions rush up to my throat and I started crying. By the end I felt calm and relaxed. Afterwards we were each invited to burn incense, a ritual that seemed to be about remembering our relationship with Sakurako, paying our respects to her, and letting go on some level. I read up on it and know it is more involved than that but this is my interpretation of it.

I am really touched and greatful that her family invited me to join them and were so welcoming and inclusive in allowing me to be a part of something that I know next to nothing about. It helped me a lot.

Posted by Gayla at 04:02 PM

Empty Sign

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Yesterday was hopeful and good.

Posted by Gayla at 11:47 AM

July 21, 2005

Cracked Open

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"Two or three things I know for sure, and one of them is that change when it comes cracks everything open."
-Dorothy Allison
from "Two or Three Things I Know for Sure"

Posted by Gayla at 11:51 PM

Chameleon

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I always stop to see if I can find the chameleon.

I am forcing myself to go to a service for my friend Thursday morning. My concern is that my impulse to be alone will get in the way of a potentially good experience so I will go even though I am afraid.

Posted by Gayla at 12:40 AM

July 20, 2005

Maximum 1 Prize

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I absolutely must clean my workspace today. It has to be done.

Posted by Gayla at 10:04 AM

Incubating

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I'm starting to think this isn't the most appropriate picture for the day. It's a little creepy. They are pheasant chicks.

A better day. Lots of bike riding. Rode north (up, up, up) followed by an incredibly speedy downhill ride an hour later. Scary but fun. Glad I wear a helmut.

A quick jaunt through Kensington. I like to see all the fruit lined up. Bought some stinky cheese and two kinds of cherries. Decadent.

Took film in. Epiphytic cactus in the mail. Willy Wonka (I liked Roald Dahl books when I was a kid). Employees quietly carried a body down from the top, followed by more employees with a mop and bucket.

An ant bit me on the back while I was pulling weeds. Tons of spiders come out at night to build webs around my tomatillo plants. The plants are taller than me this year. The spiders are green.

Posted by Gayla at 12:37 AM

July 18, 2005

Sometimes you need a little finesse

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I am trying.
I feel like puking.
I really, really don't want to do this interview today.

Posted by Gayla at 12:03 PM

July 17, 2005

"And a bright ideal tomorrow"

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"Everybody knows
You only live a day
But it’s brilliant anyway
"
-from Independence Day (Elliot Smith)

Why does reciting song lyrics feel so high school?

We came upon this old slide just after Sarah lead us through a grasslands area. I suffered a terrible allergy attack from all the grass and pollen. One of my favourite features of the island is the abundance of horsetail some of which can be seen in the foreground.

Posted by Gayla at 09:51 PM

Balmoral Tavern II

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If I were a better person I wouldn't feel the kind of rage and hatefulness I'm currently experiencing, but I'm not a better person. As I sat around tonight stewing I thought, "Self, do not go onto the internet and start spewing off a list of everything that comes to mind." Anger is isolating and alienating. I suppose sometimes it can be liberating and inspire a call to action but this is not that kind of anger. This is useless, debilitating anger.

I hate all those fuckers out there who slide through life without a moments suffering. I know they're a fiction who don't actually exist and in my finer moments I understand that everyone has pain, but I fucking hate them anyways.

So much spam in my inbox. I don't need your shit. Stop wasting my time. The fact that I'm angry enough to even be writing this is comical. I'm not laughing.

Strangers who couldn't be bothered to read the text yesterday and wrote to ask me to do them a favour. Or maybe they read the text but they have no soul. Would those without a soul kindly fuck off?

John Cassavettes films. I tried but now I'm just fucking sick of them. No more slow tortures watching substance abusers almost as immature and fucked up as my parents treat each other like shit. I've had enough for one lifetime. I don't need to see it fictionalized. I'm pointing in your direction "Faces."

People who write to tell me that I'm condescending to my audience. Fuck you too.

276 items in my inbox. I'm buried alive in unanswered communication.

I feel really sorry for myself. It's pathetic. Maybe if I were a better person I would take each sorrow and heartbreak with fancy words like stoicism (hating this word more and more with each passing day) and imperturbation, but I'm not a better person.

Posted by Gayla at 12:56 AM

July 15, 2005

Light and Dark

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Life had been up and down lately but mostly bright despite some recent trials of the social interaction sort. Just yesterday I had a heavy exchange with another relative from the distant past, followed by a series of fights with my brother. On the flip side I really enjoyed the comments posted to the last entry. A package of beautiful, skillfully crafted bowls arrived in the mail today from Sam in Utah.


I know that some of the heaviness is floating in because the anniversary of Rob's death is approaching. As I was gleefully riding my bike to the bank this evening I suddenly remembered that my birthday is rapidly approaching and while I have been making plans to have fun and be social this year I had forgotten about the darkness that surrounds my birthday. The last time I made plans for a big birthday celebration was in my 26th year. Davin made me a "Sweet 25" banner [okay I got my years muddled last night. I still had the sweet 25 banner up from the previous year. Proving that I LOVE birthdays and damn I loved that banner!] and we planned to woop it up like it was the sweet 16 I never had. Two days later my friends were gone.

I have been rather anti-social over the last few years. I got sick at the beginning of 1999 and it really shook my life up. The loss of my friends six months later was another massive shake-up that lead to big change. But change both inches forward slowly and crashes down on you simultaneously. I have spent the years since then churning and twisting, shifting and growing. I have detached myself from people. I have alienated myself at times in order to focus more energy inward.

But recently I have started to build new friendships. I have been both excited by it and terrified because these friendships are different and this kind of newness is risky. I am a different person. I am trying to be a better friend and a better person. The new friendships have been scary but they have also been easier and more relaxed. They know me as I am now rather than as I was.

I met Sakura through a mutual love of plants. Slowly we began to learn about other sides of each other and discovered that we had a lot more in common. Unfortunately just as we were starting to really get to know one another she left the city to teach University. It was a big deal for her. When I saw her last Tuesday she was overflowing with that energy that people have when big things are happening and their lives are rapidly expanding.

This evening I came home from the bank to a message informing me that Sakura died last night.

It's been less than two hours. I'm in both a state of numbness and shock with intermittent bursts of intense sorrow. I can't continue writing. I am sorry Sakura that I can't do better than this for you right now...

I posted the photo above because we both took photos of the quadraped depot on a trip to the island and I had been promising to show them to her once I finished all the scanning.

Posted by Gayla at 10:27 PM

Delta Bingo II

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These are the back doors of the Delta Bingo. This was the first part of the building we came upon.

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I desperately need to have my portrait taken in my gardens (in Parkdale) but don't know who to ask. I can't afford to pay with cash money but would like to work out some kind of fair trade or exchange. Please contact if interested. Yay Thanks!

Posted by Gayla at 10:33 AM

July 13, 2005

Pink Curtains

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I was going to post another bingo photo today but felt compelled to post this one instead. It's just another in my ongoing obsession with windows/curtains/light. But this one is quite a bit different since I decided to stand back and capture the entire window rather than closing in on the curtains. Despite all the contemporary elements (interac sign yuck) I still like it. I love that the restaurant used old dot matrix printer paper for their bathroom sign.

I do have some uneasiness with the girl looking out through the window. I'm still unsure how I feel about it and may never be certain. I have thought about people in relation to my own photographs because I consciously chose to keep them out with a few exceptions. But it is becoming more and more common for me to include people, in part because I am standing back more and that makes it harder to capture a peopleless world, and because people make up a scene and I'm not as interested in excluding them.

I've been thinking and conversing with other photo takers a lot over the last month about what it means to photograph strangers and use their likeness in an image. I think about the moral implications and the way that the act can take away a person's sense of privacy. I know that sometimes when I am out in public I am there because I have to be, not because I want to be. If someone photographed me in one of those moments I'd be pretty pissed about it. I would feel angry that a stranger felt it okay to take something from me without permission or possibly a nugget of sensitivity about it. I don't think it is always wrong or invasive, and sometimes it is invasive but the ends justifies the means. I'm not totally against it, I just wish more people would think about it first or have some sort of understanding of what it can mean rather than the kind of cocky, arrogant talk I sometimes I hear. I worry more and more that with so many people out there in the world with digital cameras that it will become a bigger and bigger problem as more and more people feel entitled to take what isn't theirs simply because they can.

Often times I think about photography as a kind of ownership; the language we use around it reflects that. You "shoot" or "capture" something with the tool and by doing so you the photographer now "own" the film or the file and whatever it is that is on it. Obviously photography can be and is so much more than that but that aspect is there and my awareness of it is unsettling at times. It gets blurrier for me when people are the subject because sometimes I see people using cameras to capture or own the emotions of another individual without ever having been brave enough to put their own emotions out there. In those instances it feels like a kind of "using" that feels icky. I wrote about a similar thing recently in relation to photographing places.

Posted by Gayla at 11:11 AM | Comments (11)

July 12, 2005

Delta Bingo

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Coming upon this Delta Bingo was a happy surprise. I used to think it was a St. Catharines institution but have since come to know that it is a chain with locations in at least two other cities in Southern Ontario (The Golden Horseshoe Area!). This is one of those other locations. Delta Bingo has a special meaning for me because it was my mother's "office" for a large part of my youth. I wrote quite a bit about it here. She eventually quit the addiction long after I left home but I always think about her when I see a tent at a carnival or a shelf of daubers in a dollar store. And when my birthday approaches (as it is) I am reminded of waiting for my mother to get back from bingo so we can start my birthday. Perhaps that is why I now insist on a birthday week?

Posted by Gayla at 10:30 AM

July 11, 2005

Balmoral Tavern

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We attended a picnic in the park on Saturday where I competed in and won the "2005 Cherry Pit Spit". I didn't bring my digital camera but Davin took some photos to prove it.

I'm very proud.

Posted by Gayla at 10:24 AM

July 08, 2005

Geraniums After Rain (with light)

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Davin has just launched Issue 2 of MakingRoom.com. Lots of photographic goodness.

The Spacing Photoblog is back with a history theme for the month of July. My contribution is here.

Posted by Gayla at 03:32 PM

July 07, 2005

Curtains: Blue Roses

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Also: "Reminds Me of My Grandmother, somehow"

Posted by Gayla at 11:28 AM

July 06, 2005

Little Paul's

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I had a 3.5 hour phone conversation with a cousin last night. What a conversation! I walked out of a family Xmas 15 years ago and now here I am all these years later with two relatives I like as individuals. My world is blown!

------------------------------

I just noticed that my passport photo wasn't properly fixed and is going crazy making it even creepier.

Posted by Gayla at 12:34 PM

July 05, 2005

My Beautiful Laundrette II

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With Hi-Speed Internet. Rosie O'Donnell sat on that bench. There was a photo on the wall to prove it.

Posted by Gayla at 10:49 AM

July 04, 2005

My Beautiful Laundrette

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This is a laundromat attached to a fabulous and yet not-so-fabulous hotel in downtown Hamilton. It really is called My Beautiful Laundrette. More to come of this place soon. I really wish the owner was around because I imagine the story behind it is pretty good.

Posted by Gayla at 11:39 AM

Reminds Me of My Grandmother, somehow

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I've had a good day despite hours spent sorting through piles of receipts. I fucking hate working with numbers. It's one of the reasons I dropped out of science.

While tackling an ungodly pile of dishes (I procrastinated too long) and the numbers stuff, I also scanned a ton of film. I got 7 rolls back the other day. We found some completely unrecognizable 35mm rolls in the fridge and Davin took those in too. They turned out to be REALLY old rolls from possibly 1995! I don't know what to do with the negs since I couldn't be bothered to pay for prints or take the time to scan them.

There's been a lot of strange stuff with the past popping up; running into an old friend on the street by chance, recognizing a friend who passed away on one of the negs, a photo I took of a curtain that reminded me of my grandmother (above), listening to "Puke + Cry"...

I've really been enjoying Sakura's "How I Used to Be" group on Flickr. It's not just another "photos of the past" pool. The concept is to use photos to examine our present self in relation to our past self. I added a few of my own but I think of a lot of what I post and write here in those terms.

We watched "The Killing of a Chinese Bookie" the other night although I can hardly claim to have watched much since I got distracted mid-way, starting reading my current book, and fell asleep. Of course I enjoyed it after the fact, a problem I seem to have with every Cassavetes film, but the actual process of watching it was a certain kind of torture. I think I liked the idea of it more than the execution. I should have watched the shorter 1978 cut but it had to go back to the video store.

Posted by Gayla at 01:22 AM

July 02, 2005

Canadian Kitsch

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Here's one I took in Hamilton last weekend that I thought was very suitable for Canada Day weekend.

One thing I love about photography is the opportunity to collect things without actually purchasing and/or owning them. For instance, I love these plaques but Davin would never allow me to decorate an entire wall of our living quarters like this. Never mind the cost of purchasing thirty Canada souvenir plaques. But that's okay because I have this photo. Although I did warn him several years ago that if we ever had a place that was big enough to allow each of us to have our own useless room that the walls of mine would be covered in metal souvenir food trays.

Here's a plaque wall photographed in a 'bargain basement' in Niagara Falls.

Posted by Gayla at 10:22 PM

June 30, 2005

NYC Red Wall

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I'm not very focussed on this whole picking-photos-for-my-homepage-on-the-information-superhighway-thing so here's your typical wall-of-colour-with-tags type photo.

------------------------------------------

Later: Oh man, how can I act like I have nothing to say when this just went through. Really proud of Canada today.

Posted by Gayla at 12:03 PM

June 28, 2005

Open

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This was the very first picture I took on our first morning in New York City. I think it's the entrance to a church in the East Village.

-----------------------------------

Outside In

Posted by Gayla at 11:26 AM

June 26, 2005

NYC Chinatown Plants | Outside In

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This picture has nothing to do with windows. I just wanted to post it. People are creeping into my photos more and more lately. You don't even know how much 'cause I don't post many of them. They're not bad, but I'm a little unsure of the role I want people to take in the photos. Sometimes it is a fairly passive role, more like a prop, but I have done a few portraits that I like but won't post. Sometimes I think about doing real self-portraits (as opposed to the photos I consider self-portraits even though I am not actually physically in the photos), but oh man what a hassle. I am generally uninspired by set-up shots. The slowness of it drags me down.

However, I finally put up a gallery of window photos on the long neglected See Feel Think site. Don't go looking for a link on the mainpage cause I haven't done that yet. A lot of what I said earlier today about looking in rather than looking out is relevant in a personal way but I didn't get into it in the mini statement. I just don't enjoy writing these sorts of explainations and statements. I think a lot and am conscious of what I'm doing, I just hate commiting the ideas to paper. I'd rather someone else wrote that stuff.

A few of the photos are screwed up because the camera back was broken. I left them in more as a reminder to myself that I need to go back and reshoot them.

Posted by Gayla at 10:58 PM | Comments (4)

June 24, 2005

Fraying Lid

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This is a top to one of these suckers. I took this one a few weekends ago.

I don't know what it is but while most of The Golden Horseshoe Area is knocking off early, taking it easy, or on the highway in a slow crawl towards 'the cottage', Fridays are always my craziest, busiest day of the week.

Posted by Gayla at 10:52 AM

June 23, 2005

Chelsea Court Meat Market

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Damn these lens flairs.

Posted by Gayla at 10:40 AM

June 22, 2005

Sun Sui

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I had a really difficult time choosing a photo today. Lots of scanning = lots of pictures = too hard to decide.

I like the light in this one. Once again, this is my favourite time of day. We were supposed to be waiting to load onto the bus but the light was so good I could not resist and did a quick run down the street to take a few last pictures.

Posted by Gayla at 10:35 AM

June 20, 2005

For a friend who has everything

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An evening of multi-tasking. Working, scanning, and listening to music.

I discovered a Nina Simone song that I hadn't previously enjoyed. Sometimes you have to be in the right mood to hear a song. I'm not depressed or miserable (I'm in a great mood) but this one is a kicker. It's your typical deathbed lament. I turned on the TV this past Sunday afternoon and managed to catch the Nina Simone documentary on the CBC ("Nina Simone, The Legend"). My brother has it on tape so I've seen it a few times before. My favourite part is when her brother says that her husband Andy didn't understand that at times an artist can hate the very thing they love the most.

Other songs I enjoyed this evening:

Candle - Sonic Youth
No More Affairs - Tindersticks
Night Swimming - REM
Train to Skaville - The Ethiopians
The Happening - The Pixies
Waltz #2 - Elliot Smith
Fight This Generation - Pavement
Bam Bam - Sister Nancy

Posted by Gayla at 11:59 PM

June 14, 2005

Bowery Doorway

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I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that I like this photo because it was a technical challenge and I acheived my intended goal. The only camera I have with a built-in light metre is the digital camera and I can tell you that not much of what I have learned using that can be applied to these older medium format cameras. For the longest time I didn't use a light metre at all and just made educated guesses when choosing my settings based on the sunny 16 rule, the little I know about light, and previous experience. I use a small analog handheld metre now and generally pull it out on days when the light changes frequently and extremely. However, on some occassions the metre creates more doubt than certainty. It's use is a skill in itself.

One of my first post-University jobs was in a prepress shop. I did a lot of design work but I also did a great deal of image correction and photo manipulation. It is because of this job that I still insist on painfully cleaning my scans one piece of dust at a time rather than using filters. Back then everything was still film and we worked by the rule "You can't fix a bad photo." Of course, quite a lot of the time it was our job to try and fix a bad photo. You'd be surprised by how many "professional", working photographers can't make a proper exposure. So I learned then the importance of a well-exposed piece of film and still have that mantra in the back of my head all the time. It's both good and bad because it pushes me to get it right, but it also keeps me from enjoying photos that just didn't work out. I have also learned that "professional" photographers bracket and take entire rolls of one subject to ensure the proper exposure -- something I can't do 'cause ain't nobody paying for my film but me. Sometimes I'll take three photos of the same thing if I'm feeling really insecure about it, but I find that it is in those uncertain moments that I screw up most and end up with three badly exposed photos rather than one. Or worse still, one well exposed but I changed positions and hate the cropping.

The irony of all of this is that one of my favourite photos and one of the most mentioned photos by visitors to this site is also the most poorly exposed.

Posted by Gayla at 09:52 AM

June 13, 2005

Pretty Bars

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The more I look around, and the more social engagement I have, the less uniquely myself I feel. We're all individual and special "they" say. Blah, blah, blah. It seems to me, that we're all really just trying to be exactly like each other and less ourselves.

This has been bumming me out for days now. It's making me angry and I do not know what to do with this anger but turn it against myself. I am trying to learn how to express anger without doing that.

I think that it is our joys and our struggles that shape and change us. We either grasp onto the lessons that are there in order to shift and grow and change, or we cast them aside as quickly as possible and stay flat. But holy shit it is not easy. Flat n' easy is very appealing and seems to come with all kinds of benefits and rewards.

Sometimes I feel like the only way to preserve some kind of identity is to be isolated. I know this is the anger talking. I am stuck.

Posted by Gayla at 11:17 AM

June 06, 2005

Falls: 4672 Queen St

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Busy weekend, busy day. I got too much sun on Saturday while out perusing garage sales on bikes with my brother and had to forego the 120 Challenge. The first sale was an All-Street sale just west of here. It was awful! I know yard sales are about selling off your crap, but there's crap and then there's CRAP. And a whole street of utter CRAP is just kind of depressing. I mean, these are people who own houses in a fairly affluent neighbourhood and yet they were selling dollar store garbage for the same price they paid for the stuff. Come on! I also overheard some catty neighbourhood gossip which made me a bit uncomfortable. The second street sale was better. The mood was light, people seemed to be enjoying themselves and the prices were appropriate. The best thing I got was a newer model Polaroid Spectra2 for 2 bucks. It works but I've had the film in the fridge for over five years so there wasn't enough juice left to push even one photo through the camera.

Saturday night was the Spacing Issue 4 launch party. I could not remember what I had contributed and was pleasantly surprised by the Be Seeing You photo which looks terrific printed.

Sunday was the annual Herb Fair. The Renaissance theme was mega-lame, and there were a lot less vendors than in the past (no 13 varieties of basil for me this year although I probably have about 7), but we had a very successful turnout of YGG people and I enjoyed myself surrounded by fellow plant geeks and people repeatedly putting their hands to their noses to smell the herbs. Later I went across town to Little India with two YGG friends. The light was great and the street was hopping with music and families easting dosas and bbq corn from street vendors. Sakura took this hilarious photo of me intently contemplating a white pomegranate. I did buy it and it turned out to be the worst, most under-ripe pomegranate ever.

Today I spent the better part of the day gardening. I know that sounds like fun, but it was hard, manual labour-type-stuff and I'm pretty beat. Plus there were smog and heat alert warnings. The cat does not like this hot weather/bad air business and is certain we're responsible. I need these plants to hurry up and get big so we can have a little oxygen-rich refuge from the toxic air.

Posted by Gayla at 09:47 PM

June 02, 2005

Hanging Out | New York Chinatown

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I got an email this morning asking if I shoot B&W anymore because I always post colour photos. The answer is yes I do, at times about 1/3 as much as colour film however I seem to have some kind of personal preference for colour when it comes to my own pictures. For the last few months I have been using B&W exclusively in the Diana. There's a stack of film sitting here, I just haven't had a chance to get through all of it. Too many pictures.

Thinking about why it is that I lean towards colour for myself, I think part of it has to do with light. I just prefer muted colour and capturing certain types of light. Some people have descirbed my photos as lonely or bleak and I guess when I take B&W photos the warmth and sense of hope and beauty that I am interested in gets buried or lost. Using colour helps me maintain some kind of balance.

I think that B&W can be really good when there is a lot going on in a scene. When I have B&W film in my camera (if I remember), I point my camera at different places and scenes then I would if using colour. The image above is a good example of that. I would never have taken this photo with colour film in the camera. I would think it too busy and the light all wrong for me. I suppose I keep using B&W even though I don't post them much, as a way to push myself outside my own parametres a little bit.

Posted by Gayla at 11:16 AM | Comments (10)

June 01, 2005

A Not-so Delicate Flower

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And back to Niagara Falls today. This was the very last picture I took literally seconds before getting on the bus to depart. As we were waiting the sky was golden and the light so good I couldn't resist running down the street to take some last photos. I have to admit that i thought this one would be better than it is.

-----------------------------

I spent a lot of time outside yesterday. Get out on a bike if you can because the city smells like lilacs. We took a long bike trip up town (uphill) to meetings and stopped at a garden centre on the way home. I bought just enough plants to fill my basket. Once at home I spent several hours working on rearranging, cleaning and planting containers on our deck. Even though I wore sunblock I got too much sun. The first month or so of sun is a tricky time for me. I have to be very careful not to overdo my exposure (apparently I am a delicate flower) and must always wear a hat, or I get vertigo. Maintaining my health is quite a balancing act but this is the one part I always seem to screw up once every season. Last night I had to sleep almost sitting up with several pillows piled behind me because I did indeed get the vertigo. I turned my head in my sleep at around 3 am and woke up in a spin. I'm a bit scared to go outside today because I can feel it lurking underneath the surface. If I get any more sun it won't just be positional, but will turn into full-on, constant spinning. I have had this for as long as 3 days at a time and I can tell you it is very, very scary and awful.

Posted by Gayla at 10:41 AM

May 31, 2005

The Comfort Diner

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I had a dream last night that I was pregnant and quickly going into labour. People were zipping around trying to figure out what to do and the first thing that popped into my mind was, "Bring cameras."

Posted by Gayla at 11:37 AM

May 30, 2005

Little Dragon

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We met up with Jared and Rachel on Saturday afternoon and had some fun picture-taking chit chat. Too bad about the cold. That's the second time I have been caught on a patio without the proper gear for the weather. I did have four cameras in tow, none of which were used. Do I never learn?

Posted by Gayla at 12:29 PM

May 29, 2005

Cigs n' Papers

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This one is better at a bigger size but... well they're all better at a bigger size but some just don't retain their interest when they're smaller while others retain the basic idea at any size. This one has a lot of layers that get flattened at a low resolution is all. Blah, blah, blah. I have to go return a movie now. Oh I forgot to mention that we went to see the Diane Arbus show at the MET. Davin says what I would have said (albeit less wordy) so I'll just be lazy and direct you there.

I posted some holga pics of the Bacon n' Eggs place here.

Posted by Gayla at 08:50 PM | Comments (3)

May 28, 2005

BOWERY Grand Opening

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I loved these little flags hanging underneath the scaffolding so much. I couldn't stop taking photos. I'm sure I have views of them with multiple cameras.

Again I have to say that I regret not bringing the pinhole. But alas, a tripod would have sent me over the top.

Davin posted some of his New York seconds (as in less favourite pics rather than a reference to a New York minute) over here. He got to walk around in Brooklyn while I did a signing at a book store. I was kind of bummed because I had been planning to walk around after the signing to take photos. At least we got a car tour. Anyways, there's some goodies from his walk about. I should have listened when he asked if I wanted to go back to Brooklyn on our free day.

Feeling a bit bummed cause so far all the Horizon photos I have scanned suck either compositionally or because I underexposed. What is going on with me and this camera?

Bob (bless him) sent us some film before we left and I am now in love with Acros for black & white even though I just bought a shitload of HP5. I have been unable to find HP5 medium format in Toronto so I went nutso at B&H. But man that Acros is good. I hate to say it but my film allegiance is to Fuji. And that is about as far as my film geekery goes.

Posted by Gayla at 11:49 AM

May 26, 2005

Cadillac Motel | The Train

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Back to Niagara Falls. My New York film comes back today but I'm doubting I'll get a chance to get to it anytime soon. I still have Niagara Falls film to scan!

I feel like making lists. More Stuff:

- Books I Read on the Train - "Lucky" by Alice Sebold, "Sisters of the Yam" by bell hooks, and "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" by Dave Eggers.

- Bought a crazy painting of Jesus at the Salvation Army in Chelsea for $8.99. I almost didn't get it because it meant carrying it around for the rest of the day in addition to all the cameras. But I did and it's good. The people working there were miserable. An eccentric New York lady asked me in a thick New Yorker accent if "...there were any nice blouses."

- The train ride was pretty miserable. I keep forgetting that Amtrack trains aren't quite as nice as VIA trains. Our train was an hour and a half late and the air quality just got worse and worse as the hours passed. People kept leaving the bathroom doors open and good god the smell! We weren't even seated near the bathrooms but oh god the smell! The smell came in waves that directly corresponded to the flushing of toilets. I'm not going to get into it just consider this the next time you think about taking the train long distance in America. I spent 14 hours on a bus in southern Mexico and I don't remember such pain. Maybe I'm less tolerant in my older age.

However, one thing I love about the train are the landscape views. Train tracks and stations are often kept a bit off the beaten path and near industry. Gotta get the products of industry moving! As a result we saw a lot of amazing old buildings that are now deserted. I took some pictures and will post them when I get a chance. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to get off the train and just walk. So many good pictures. We must take the ferry to Rochester!

While in the meat packing section of New York we found the old tracks that go through the city. We couldn't find a way in via that section but it looked awesome. The tracks are up high, offering an interesting vantage point (I'm sure). I love the train. Minus the terrible toilet smells. Germaphobes should definitely nix this mode of travel.

- What's with those acupuncture places that feature a tv in the window playing some sort of acupunture video? I saw this a number of times and in different neighbourhoods. Fascinating.

Posted by Gayla at 12:13 PM

May 17, 2005

Bacon & Eggs | New York

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We're leaving for New York tomorrow morning. I'm struggling, trying to lock down on my camera lineup. This is always the hardest part for me. Choosing clothes to bring is easy. Choosing cameras takes days of weighing options, and very literally weighing cameras.

I've been thinking it would be easier if I brought the Great Wall rather than the Kiev but the the weight difference is only just under 2 pounds if I don't bring the second back. If I bring the second back I'm hitting around 5 pounds. It doesn't sound like much until you add more cameras, film, accessories, the bag, and days of walking with gear in tow. Although I'll be doing a lot of work and possibly less walking, but even still I can't underestimate a little problem I have called Can't Not Overdo It.

So far the public events that have been confirmed include:

BOOK LAUNCH PARTY
At GRDN
Thursday, May 19th
6pm – 9pm
Cocktails, live music and hands-on urban gardening demonstrations.
Where: 103 Hoyt Street, between Atlantic Ave and Pacific St, Brooklyn


URBAN GARDENING DEMOS
Union Square Farmer's Market
Saturday, May 21
9am to 2pm
Urban gardening demonstrations & activities for springtime inspiration.

BOOK SIGNING
Spoonbill Books
Sunday May 22
2pm-3pm
218 Bedford Avenue Brooklyn


There's a big community garden event in New York on Saturday but I will miss most of it because I'll be at the Farmer's Market. However, I might be at a west end garden event later on Saturday.

Posted by Gayla at 12:11 PM | Comments (15)

May 16, 2005

5444 Ferry Street

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A bit of a stressful morning. My list of stuff to do before we leave for New York first thing Wed morning fills both sides of a lined, letter-sized sheet. That's all I'm going to say about that. The one thing I do enjoy about lists is the satisfaction that comes from crossing things off. Crossing items off in your mind just doesn't have the same feeling and each item is often replaced by a new one anyway.

I'm looking forward to the long train ride because it means 13 hours to zone out. Sadly I am not the kind of person who can sleep while in transit so the hardest part will be keeping myself entertained for the duration.

Yesterday was a crazy day but also a lot of fun. I was on CBC Newsworld with Suhanna Meharchand and Andrew Nichols for approximately seven minutes at exactly 11:37 am EST to talk about gardening. I already wrote about it here so I'm not going to repeat myself except to say that we were all very entertained by the experience. Davin probably had the most fun since he didn't have the stress of being a talking head and whatnot.

Then later we came across a camera obscura someone had set up in our 'hood. I took a few quick pics while inside but they're pretty fuzzy since the exposures were incredibly long and handheld.

Posted by Gayla at 11:36 AM

May 14, 2005

The Bradley Institute

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I am slowly building a collection of window/curtains images. These are from The Bradley Institute, a music school in downtown Niagara Falls. The curtains probably haven't been moved since the place opened by the look of them. That's my favourite kind of curtain. There's something about these scenes that appeals to me (of course or I wouldn't keep taking these pictures). It's the softness of the curtain as it ripples and the way the very bottom skims the window frame. It's the way light hits the curtains and the look of the glass. Sometimes it's what is on the glass or what is reflected in the glass. It is how each set of windows and curtains is different and says something about the place or the life behind it and yet they are also very much the same too.

I have noticed that I am drawn to curtains on houses nearly or as much as I am drawn to curtains on store-fronts but I generally can't get as close to houses as there is a distance between the sidewalk and the front window. Can you imagine the kind of shit I could get into going right up to someone's window with my camera? I can't take a fast photo with the medium format. It takes me a while to figure out the light, get focussed, frame the composition and fire the shutter. It's a slow camera not meant for stealth mode. I'm not even sure it's meant to be carried around in the first place the damn thing is so heavy. These things were really made for studio work. How do I explain to people that I'm not casing their place or trying to catch something salacious? I could get a longer lens but 1. who needs more weight with this thing and 2. I enjoy the intimacy of getting right up to my subjects.

-----------------------------

Well thankfully the sun is now out. I have a killer headache and have been doing this rather than the ton of work I have before me because this feels productive without taxing my aching head too much. In less than an hour I'll be heading over to the annual Parkdale Horticultural Society plant sale. Yay for that.

I have noticed that since yesterday I have been flexing muscles in my body in a tense way, occassionally wringing my hands, and possibly grinding my teeth in my sleep -- all are big signs that I am terribly worried, anxious and tense. It is confirmed that I will be on CBC Newsworld (I don't know the channel cause we don't have cable) tomorrow morning. It's in-studio with makeup and the whole nine yards. I am tense because I have never done in-studio before and I generally don't like it when I don't know what to expect.

Yesterday was fun but freezing. By the time I got home I was so chilled to the bone I couldn't get warm for hours. The interview/shopping part was fun and I was surprised by how willingly the garden centre helped prepare for the photos. By the time we got started the sky had become overcast and the temperature dropped further. I had to stand in a t-shirt and thin sweater for a long time while shot after shot was fired because there were problems with the flash equipment. By the end my snarkiness was starting to come through. The photographer kept prompting me to look sexy or coy and finally I just had to say, "You're talking to the wrong person here. I can do angry really well." And really, that is about the extent of my acting range. I think the photos are going to be quite goofy because they were trying to mimic the cover of the book (sans tiny pink tee) so I was posed into all kinds of crazy configurations while holding a plant in one hand and a shovel in the other and making "big smiles" while repeating the words "stinky cheese". Oh well, it's just the newspaper so people will only see it for a few seconds on one day and then throw it out.

We were located in front of a school that was just getting out so the whole thing was witnessed by scores of grade school children and parents. As an aside, can you believe how many little kids dye their hair now? Crazy.

Forget this whole book thing, next year you can expect to see me on America's Next Top Model.

Posted by Gayla at 11:22 AM

May 13, 2005

4660 | Haircut 101

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No big story to accompany this image. My goal here was to get the smoke stacks and the tandoori place in the reflecting bits without getting any passing vehicles, people, Davin, or myself. I also had to stand in the street to take this shot which was difficult but a whole lot easier than trying to do this in Toronto. There's just too much traffic here to attempt such long views so I took the opportunity as I had it. Plus here I have to concentrate a bit harder on cropping out contemporary and/or ugly elements. That was less of a problem in Niagara Falls since I could find a entire storefronts like this with nothing displeasing to get in my way. I really enjoyed the change of scenery for those little differences alone.

I think this puzzle-solving element is one of the things about photography that appeals to me.

------------------------------------------

This is going to be a crazy weekend followed by another crazy week. I am about to leave to spend the entire day "shopping" with the Toronto Star. The forecast is calling for rain though. I might be on CBC Newsworld on Sunday morning around 11:30 am. It hasn't been confirmed yet. I'm not sure I should be announcing that publically but at the same time what's the point of taking the time to do this kind of stuff if I'm not going to promote it?

I suddenly realized two days ago that I have a bunch of stuff coming up that involves being photographed, on television, and/or being seen by people in public in a context that involves my looking presentable in a particular way that falls outside what I deem as presentable on a day-to-day basis. My hair has grown out so I made a fast appointment to get it cut yesterday. I couldn't get the woman who cut my hair last time. That was a mistake. I took it for granted that my hair hadn't grown much and that the new person would be able to easily figure out what to do to achieve the style I liked. This woman didn't cut enough off in the back and sides, and had to recut it a few times based on vague prompts from me such as, "It looks screwy. I don't know why but it's freaking me out." I get scared in THE CHAIR and become a bumbling, incoherant fool. In the meantime she had cut it too short in the front in that tapered way that makes me look dorky. I couldn't tell what was happening because my glasses were off and once it's gone too short there is no going back. I think the resulting haircut looks like I'm trying too hard. And now it will be forever immortalized and seen by several people who will not know that it's just a bad cut.

Sitting here all day, quietly working away at my stuff was a lot easier than this whole having-to-care-what-I-look-like-thing I've gotten myself into. Part of me enjoys this aspect of it. I enjoy talking to people who share a common interest, and of course it's a very good thing that people are receiving the book so well and WANT to interview me etc. What if they hated it and no one wanted to interview me or take my photo for such and such? What then? But there's also a part of me that resents the intrusion into my quiet and possibly "easier" life, resents having to suck back the emotional turmoil of this last year and be there and be positive at times when I'm feeling anything but positive.

I always think something is going to be a certain way and it always turns out to be easier or more difficult. or both but never exactly what I thought.

Posted by Gayla at 10:20 AM

May 12, 2005

Jake's Chip Wagon II & III

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See Jake's Chip Wagon Part 1.

Jake said he had a website but I haven't been able to find it!

I was very tempted to get the cup just so I could eat fries out of a frosty cone cup. Instead I got the $2.50 box. The fries were good but too salty for my taste. I had to wipe each chip off a bit before consumming. My salt tolerance is not what it once was (thankfully).

I did take a long shot of the chip wagon and the lineup as we walked away but sadly it was beyond #13 on my roll (#13 already being a wasted shot) and all I got was half a frame. Davin will post some on his site (eventually). Or not.

Posted by Gayla at 10:55 AM

Jake's Chip Wagon

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And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

After arriving in lovely downtown Niagara Falls via the bus (blah) we continued to walk around downtown looking for something to eat before heading to the tourist area. Experience has taught me that the tourist area is not the place to find edible "food".

Just as it started to rain we spotted Jake's Chip Wagon parked on a side street. Granted deep fried potatoes are not exactly "food" but we were starving and downtown Niagara Falls is very nearly a ghost town. I did buy an excellent guide to knitting crazy, lumpy popcorn hats for 25 cents at one of several consignment/churchy thrift stores. Chatted up and charmed the thrift store ladies too so I must have been high on all the boarded up shops and general visual misery. I am just not that charming in real life.

So anyways, it starts to rain, I'm in my glory carrying three cameras around my neck and high on aesthetically pleasing misery, and suddenly there's Jake's. Davin is from the Ottawa Valley which is like the capital of homecut fries coated in vinegar, salt and, get ready for this - butter. Hot grease just ain't enough apparently. Needless to say he was very happy about Jake's. It was a real old-fashioned chip operation run out of an old truck. From a distance we could see a line-up, in the rain no-less which was a pretty good sign that Jake's was worth checking out (of course I still had the stubborn idea in my head that if we just looked hard enough we'd find actual food).

Once in line I started chatting up the people around me. The woman in front of me was eager to tell me her personal history with Jake's. It has been parking in that location a couple of days per week (Wed and Thursday for certain but I forget the other days) from noon until 3pm (I believe) since 1945. She insisted it was worth getting my own box. When I got up to the counter I asked if I could take some pictures and we discussed Jake's history.

This is Jake in the photo. He was sitting on a stool inside the truck cutting potatoes by hand and placing them in a bowl on his lap. Jake was interested in my camera and mentioned that if we liked "old junk" we'd like Simon's down the street. Now apparently Simon's is "Niagara's Oldest Restaurant." The guy in line behind me stated that his father had been going to Simon's since he was a little kid. I'm too tired to continue with this story and will elaborate another day but let's just say that when he said "...lots of old junk" I imagined one of those dimly lit, quaint, theme-style restaurants with names that include the words "Olde", "Thyme" or "Mama's" and are filled with nick-nacks, black and white photos of people with funny clothes and have tin signs for 10 cent cigarettes, RC cola, or 40s era kids' wagons decorating the walls. Strangers (and relatives) often think we'll like something because it has some kind of stupid shtick or "wacky quirk", cause we're creative types who like "stuff" and creative types who like "stuff" are kooky that way. They are often way off the mark. However, Simon's was not at all what I imagined in the least. It very literally was "...lot's of old junk." Someone needs a life coach to help purge a thing or two.

Perfect.

Posted by Gayla at 01:01 AM

May 11, 2005

Not Strong

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I don't know what to say today. Things have turned from lovely and sweet to devastating and cruel as has been the trend here over the last nine months. Interesting that it has been nine months because when I was talking to someone yesterday about the enormous amount of death that has surrounded us over the last nine months she said, "Maybe with time all of this will turn out to be like a birth for you."

I'm afraid that what I'm giving birth to is a me with a dead spirit and a deep-seated sense of doom. Someone who will live with a fear that a drink of joy will always come with a price; followed straight away by a chaser of pain and loss.

Posted by Gayla at 10:18 AM

May 10, 2005

Spaghetti House

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No they don't serve pizza!

At least that's what was stated very emphatically on the door. We didn't eat here but our motel was nearby so we passed it a few times. A little gem leftover from old Niagara Falls when it was the Honeymoon Capital of the World rather than Vegas North/a city that charges $2.00 for heated tap water at a $6.99 all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet. Cold water is free.

I REALLY wanted to photograph the side door. It was incredible! But every single time we walked by there was a very elderly woman either peering out at us through the blinds or sitting on the porch. I got the distinct impression from the way her eyes drilled a hole through me that asking her if she minded if I take a picture wasn't an option.

Still, there are lots of things in this scene that appeal to me: the topiary hedges, handpainted signage, scallopy awnings, windows and a door.

Posted by Gayla at 10:58 AM

May 09, 2005

Lundy's Lane

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This was one of many attempts to block out the *NEW* Niagara Falls and capture the old Niagara Falls of my youth. God I hate *NEW*.

My best friend from childhood moved to Niagara Falls back when I was a preteen and I spent many summer weekends and weeks visiting her there. Her parents gave her a lot of freedom (possibly too much really), while mine kept me on a very, very, very short leash. Visiting her was a liberating yet anxiety-ridden contrast as we roamed the touristy areas without parental supervision. Lundy's lane was known as a cruising street (maybe it still is) and I recall shaking my fists and shouting at many leacherous older men in sports cars, "I'm only 13 you sick asshole!"

Good times.

(Thanks to Colin who recovered this lost entry for me.)

Posted by Gayla at 11:22 AM

May 07, 2005

Golden

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This is my first posting of a film photo from our trip to Niagara Falls. I can't remember the name of this establishment but the food was crap. When the waitress came over to ask how it was Davin feigned ignorance and I was left to fill in the awkward space with "It is what it is." The good light almost makes up for the over-fried, over-priced, super-greasy fish and chips I consummed. As I was gathering my things (including my camera bag which weighed 11 pounds!!!!) to leave I turned around and saw this scene and felt I couldn't leave without trying to capture it. This is one of those shining moments when the result exactly corresponds with the intention. I am happy.

I just spent several hours scanning film and still have many more hours to go before I'm through my Niagara Falls haul. Yikes. And I'm supposed to go to New York City this month for book promoting stuff. I will be scanning film until kingdom come.

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This site is mentioned on page 14 of the June 2005 issue of the Utne Reader. Weeee.

Posted by Gayla at 09:51 PM

May 03, 2005

Davin

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Tomorrow marks our 12 year anniversary! 12 years! 12!

More portraits of Davin from this day here and here.

Posted by Gayla at 11:29 AM

May 01, 2005

Coming Undone

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I'm working on redesigning the site. There's a good chance that a bunch of stuff isn't going to work in the meantime.

Posted by Gayla at 07:39 PM

Road Flower

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Posted by Gayla at 12:04 AM

April 27, 2005

Passport

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Davin and I had our passport photos taken here yesterday. The photographer was old school, using that giant Linhoff to take the shots and developing them in the back while we waited. No digital or polaroid even!

I thought we were screwed when they rejected our first batch, but this experience was super fun.

Posted by Gayla at 11:25 PM

April 22, 2005

Art House

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I took this photo a few weeks ago at an art house. I had heard about the house and happened to run into a friend while out on a walk who pointed me in the right direction. It was pretty crazy. It even had speakers that played a local radio station for a total sensory experience. There was also a matching art car (in this case a van) parked in front. Wait until I post a photo of the whole house. I love art houses.

Currently enjoying "Train in Vain" by the Clash. It's the disco influence.

Posted by Gayla at 11:39 PM

April 20, 2005

1044A

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    "And fantasy it was, for we were not strong, only aggressive; we were not free, merely licensed; we were not compassionate, we were polite; not good, but well behaved. We courted death in order to call ourselves brave, and hid like thieves from life. We substituted good grammar for intellect; we switched habits to stimulate maturity; we rearranged lies and called it truth...
    - Toni Morrison from "The Bluest Eye"
    "
Posted by Gayla at 11:34 PM

April 17, 2005

Toronto Handicapped

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Davin's view here.

Posted by Gayla at 11:32 PM

April 10, 2005

Nutmeg Geranium

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Posted by Gayla at 11:31 PM

April 09, 2005

No Parking

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Posted by Gayla at 11:40 PM

April 08, 2005

God Keep Our Land

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Posted by Gayla at 11:41 PM