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Taken with Kiev 88

"Only when we expose ourselves over and over again to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us."

I was going to write today about my love for Mike Leigh movies and watching "Vera Drake" last night, but minutes ago I came across the above quote and subsequent entry on Keri Smith's site and that altered my plans. I've been grappling with a lot of fear about being over-exposed and I've jumped between feeling that the fear means this is something I have to do that is good for me and feeling that I'm just hurting myself even more. Sometimes it's hard to know what's right. I know that a lot of my fear and vulnerability stems from being sick last week and feeling exhausted and incapable as a result of that. So I decided I wouldn't make any decisions until I was into a better headspace and much less overwhelmed.

Keri's thoughts on exposure are great. She's a smart person.

Another thing that is very telling is that I always notice that whatever advice I'm dishing out is always the advice I most need to take at that time. I was having a conversation with my brother last week about the way people judge us based on our financial status and I was telling him that if being wealthy is not a part of his belief system then he can't allow the perceptions of people who would judge him in that way to effect how he feels about himself or be a measure of his success. Of course I realize I'm doing the same thing in worrying that being myself in a public sphere will set me up to be judged by people when I'm not sure why I would consider the perceptions of anyone who would judge me based on an entirely different belief system then my own.

You're not going to feel any sympathy for me after this (not that I'm asking for it cause I ain't) but here are two interviews I recently did about this site. 1 and 2

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