Monday, June 13, 2005     « Pretty Bars »


The more I look around, and the more social engagement I have, the less uniquely myself I feel. We're all individual and special "they" say. Blah, blah, blah. It seems to me, that we're all really just trying to be exactly like each other and less ourselves.

This has been bumming me out for days now. It's making me angry and I do not know what to do with this anger but turn it against myself. I am trying to learn how to express anger without doing that.

I think that it is our joys and our struggles that shape and change us. We either grasp onto the lessons that are there in order to shift and grow and change, or we cast them aside as quickly as possible and stay flat. But holy shit it is not easy. Flat n' easy is very appealing and seems to come with all kinds of benefits and rewards.

Sometimes I feel like the only way to preserve some kind of identity is to be isolated. I know this is the anger talking. I am stuck.

« Pretty Bars »