Wednesday, May 11, 2005     « Not Strong »


I don't know what to say today. Things have turned from lovely and sweet to devastating and cruel as has been the trend here over the last nine months. Interesting that it has been nine months because when I was talking to someone yesterday about the enormous amount of death that has surrounded us over the last nine months she said, "Maybe with time all of this will turn out to be like a birth for you."

I'm afraid that what I'm giving birth to is a me with a dead spirit and a deep-seated sense of doom. Someone who will live with a fear that a drink of joy will always come with a price; followed straight away by a chaser of pain and loss.

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