Monday, February 5, 2007     « A Space Between Houses »


- I'm listening to my melancholy mid-winter mix because it is very cold outside. Thankfully it is very warm and cozy in here. Tomorrow I will put on a thousand layers and my don't fuck with me/nothing can mess with this magic mix and navigate those mean streets. ...except it's only four songs long so I'd better get on that.

- A wonderfully fragrant herb to brighten up a winter day.

- If I've got to freeze my ass off the light might as well be bright and crisp. I like those days best.

- I've been craving a trip to the greenhouse but I'm too wimpy to travel that far.

- Unscanned film, undeveloped film, the pictures that remain locked in the vault that is my computer, and the pictures I continue to take. Lately the idea to just stop already has crept into passing thoughts. For fleeting moments I have entertained the idea of stopping all of the things that fill me up and give me a sense of self... and then I recall how these things are equal to eating and breathing. I feel guilty about having too much joy, and bitterness about the guilt. There have been strong doubts and yet, AND YET an equally strong sureness. I just scanned a roll that blows my mind. By tomorrow it will be old news. I am not liking this psychology lately but it makes a lot of sense and that helps. Fucking winter. I am genetically unsuited to this.

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