Friday, September 7, 2007     « Prize Winning (Mustard Festival) »


This apartment is too small and I am constantly bumping into furniture for lack of space. I have no money in the bank and zero security for the future. The cameras are all fucked. This humidity is terrible. I work too hard and am not fairly compensated. Bike #1 needs to be fixed. I am desperate for a real vacation.

And yet I'm really happy. I'm excited about what comes next and the things that are brewing. I am not compromising or compromised. I have a second bike that works just fine. I have care, understanding, respect, friendship, and love. The fridge is full of good, healthy food. I have 28 jars of canned sauce... and counting. Corners have been turned. Big corners. I am alive. This is the life I chose and it's turning out to be pretty good. This has been a great summer all around.

Part of getting here was letting go of the disappointment of 33 and the expectations that weren't met. I have had to let go of a lot of dumb ideas about success that were never even mine to begin with. Writing this reminds me of Nina Simone singing "Ain't Got No, I Got Life" and Pavement's "Here."

Film: I loved Ken Loach's "The Wind That Shakes the Barley." I have loved all of his movies that I have seen. Unfortunately they are mostly hard to come by.

Music: I had a sudden urge to listen to Squeeze. I've been enjoying The Singles today while working. Except for "Cool for Cats." I do not like that song.

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