Making Happy

Couch and Stuff

More views: 1, 2

This was one of the photos I used in the PUBLICity show. And I suck because I haven't been telling you everyday (like the other particpants) that the show is still on and runs until April 23rd.

While I'm getting crazy, I should also mention that I won Best Toy Camera in the Photobloggies. But you already know that because you are the people who voted for me. And you have probably been wondering what the hell is wrong with me because I haven't said anything about it. Well that would be because when I found out I was all fucked in the head, due in part to the viral sickness and felt insanely guilty about winning. Honestly I don't think the nominees and/or winners really represented the wealth of picture goodness that is out there, but that's the way it goes with contests in general. They are always flawed. The end.

But why I felt so insanely guilty about winning is because I still have a huge guilt complex and sometimes I am an idiot and I let it dictate how I respond to things.

Anyways I am so over it now. Ha! I don't do this to win prizes but I am excited about the Lomo Oktomat because I like cameras and I would never spend the money on one of these because I am living on dimes these days. Thank you. It is because of you that I will soon be taking pictures with 8 frames in one.

Shout outs to the other nominees:

• Gordon Stettinius (fellow ToyCamera site member)
• Hello (fellow Parkdalian Ali)


• Milo (crazy double exposure guy)

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I am going to get my haircut today. I'm a bit scared.

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I am very excited because it is time to go back to the place I took this photo to see the flowers that should be up again. I am also excited because the snow is gone and it stays light until nearly 8 pm.

A Window

Hours Open

"Only when we expose ourselves over and over again to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us."

I was going to write today about my love for Mike Leigh movies and watching "Vera Drake" last night, but minutes ago I came across the above quote and subsequent entry on Keri Smith's site and that altered my plans. I've been grappling with a lot of fear about being over-exposed and I've jumped between feeling that the fear means this is something I have to do that is good for me and feeling that I'm just hurting myself even more. Sometimes it's hard to know what's right. I know that a lot of my fear and vulnerability stems from being sick last week and feeling exhausted and incapable as a result of that. So I decided I wouldn't make any decisions until I was into a better headspace and much less overwhelmed.

Keri's thoughts on exposure are great. She's a smart person.

Another thing that is very telling is that I always notice that whatever advice I'm dishing out is always the advice I most need to take at that time. I was having a conversation with my brother last week about the way people judge us based on our financial status and I was telling him that if being wealthy is not a part of his belief system then he can't allow the perceptions of people who would judge him in that way to effect how he feels about himself or be a measure of his success. Of course I realize I'm doing the same thing in worrying that being myself in a public sphere will set me up to be judged by people when I'm not sure why I would consider the perceptions of anyone who would judge me based on an entirely different belief system then my own.

You're not going to feel any sympathy for me after this (not that I'm asking for it cause I ain't) but here are two interviews I recently did about this site. 1 and 2

Birds on a Wire

I know, so many digital pictures within a short span of time. I'm a big lying liar.

Some more pictures from this day on Flickr.

Little Raccoon

Feeling more embarrassed today about yesterday's whiny rant than anything else really. I posted a REALLY large picture before this one to distract you.

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If you've been visiting this site long enough, you'll remember last summer's trouble with raccoon visitors. It looks like they're back, or at least the next generation has come to bask in the delights of our deck, but this one is trickier.

The other night we were sitting at our respective desks when we heard an odd sound coming from the front room. Davin thought it was the cat getting up to something, but when he looked to his right saw that the cat was quietly curled up and not in the front room making odd sounds. When he went out to investigate he noticed a little raccoon outside on the deck. The window was open but we have bars so we didn't think anything of it until we saw the paw prints all over the room. Then we discovered that some of the cat's food (Davin had just put some out) was missing and there was dirt in her water bowl. Davin closed the window and about 10 minutes later we heard another noise and discovered the little raccoon performing acrobatics on the window bars!

The cat did NOTHING! She just sat in the doorway (in perfect line of vision) watching a little raccoon come into our place and eat her food without so much as a peep. I'm glad she didn't try to get into an altercation with a raccoon, but she didn't even make a sound to alert us. Ten years with that cat and I still don't get her.

Later that evening when I went into the bathroom I discovered paw prints all over the toilet seat and dirt in the toilet bowl. I'm not a germ-o-phobe but I sterilized that seat before using it none-the-less.

Days have passed and I'm still walking tentatively everytime I approach the window, half expecting to find a raccoon under the kitchen table.