March 31, 2006
Back to Life
Books in the mail, the first bike ride of spring, lunch at a new favourite place, a quick trip to the community garden, squirrels digging for nuts, tiny buds, skeletal plant remains, a mockingbird in a tree, and a handful of pretty beans.
Song: "Reunited" Wu-Tang Clan - I completely forgot about this one. Oh and now listening to this made me remember Dr. Octagon. Ha! Hello 1996/97. I have a really specific memory walking north on Dufferin listening to this album on a cassette walkman. I'll have to see how it holds up after a decade. I'm gonna guess it won't.
A few minutes later: No. It really, really doesn't.
March 30, 2006
Cyclone
"We cannot settle for the pretenses of connection, or for the parodies of self-love." -Audre Lorde
I can pull quotes out of my ass and pretend to be wise too.
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it stands than to anything on which it is poured." - Anonymous
Sometimes getting red hot pissed off is the sane and healthy thing to do.
March 29, 2006
Yes, We're OPEN
Song: "Brass in Pocket" Pretenders. She got bottle. There will be no shit taking.
March 28, 2006
SHINE
I took a few hours off today and had a wonderful walk. It was open jacket weather and I saw my first robin of spring.
Books in the queue:
Phone
I just blew 2-4 hours over the course of 2 days attempting to get through to a living being at the Office of the Registrar General. They could use those systems in psychological warfare. I was broken within 30 minutes. The human being I finally managed to reach sounded pretty broken herself.
At least I didn't have to use the above telephone.
March 27, 2006
March 23, 2006
Moss Park
The light that hits this corner at a particular time of day is phenomenal.
Song: "Release Me" Esther Phillips
March 22, 2006
His Work
My brother took us out to see Dave Chappelle's Block Party. It was exactly what I have been needing for a long time. I laughed, I cried, I was reminded of how much I love "Killing Me Softly" (the original, not the Fugees), how much I love albums 6 & 7 of the Atlantic Records box set (doesn't really have anything to do with the film but there was a connection for me), how much I love hip hop, how much I love the summer, t-shirt weather, taking pictures, intelligence, the smell of thrift stores, style vs fashion, my crazy new-used huge jacket with the massive lapels and the length that goes past my knees, wicked hair, the city, live music, cursing, reading books, looking at things, walking, everything is everything, confidence and how important it is to have pride and be proud.
March 21, 2006
This Week Special
We watched "Water" last night. I had not heard much about the film and was not expecting the many very direct references to "Pather Panchali" by Satyajit Ray, a film which also makes heavy visual and metaphorical use of water.
March 20, 2006
Coffee and Light
A Laundry List of Things
- Coming down from the last few months.
- Looking forward to all the paper shredding, desk cleaning, closet cleaning, organizing, throwing shit out, getting back some measure of balance, being a human.
- I had to euthanize my fish, Rudy yesterday. It was not easy, but it was the right thing to do.
- I watched "A Woman Under the Influence" again and I got through it without pacing the apartment or getting angry. It's a good movie, just difficult for me to watch.
- Fuck crochet! I bought this book and have decided I am ready to tackle it. My mother was/is (I don't know) an avid crocheter and tried to teach me when I was a kid. Like every attempt at teaching, it ended in a lot of tears and permanant scaring. Trying to learn right now is like pulling teeth. I would give up if I were any less stubborn.
- TIME
- Sun!
- Unexpected
- Seeds! I have already opened up the bean packages to see what they look like. I always do that. Sometimes I buy seeds just so I can see what they look like.
March 18, 2006
COLOR films
This photo was taken in Canada despite the American spelling of "colour".
I had a fun but tiring day. I look forward to rest and more importantly BALANCE in my life over the next week. My apologies to the person I met today who mentioned this site. I am not yet used to the topic of this site coming up in the context of my gardening personality life (or whatever my job title is now) and am still surprised by how shy and uncomfortable I become when that happens. It is a good lesson for certain.
Song: "Walk Tall" Cannonball Adderley. I know I've mentioned it recently but I just love the opening speech by the Reverand Jesse Jackson.
"...No matter how dreary the situation is, and how difficult it may be. That the storm really doesn't matter, until the storm begins to get you down. So my advice to you, the message that the Cannonball and the quintet brings to us is that it is rough and tough in this ghetto, a lot of funny stuff going down. But you got to walk TALL. WALK TALL. WALK TALL."
March 17, 2006
PULL (with shirts)
I forgot to say earlier that I love this photo. We live very near here and I have walked underneath this bridge (and over too) no less than a zillion times. That image is completely burned into my brain. But I have never, ever been able to capture it so perfectly. Davin wins the special bonus prize for such an achievement.
Plus, dudes... I am on Studio2 tonight at 8pm EST! And again at 11:01pm. And again at 2:25am. TVOntario.
March 16, 2006
Snow Pile
This pile of dirty snow feels like today's workload. I am counting the days until Sunday when I can sleep, and sleep, and sleep. And sleep. Actually just getting through today will be a victory.
In more exciting news I'm going to be on Studio2! Woot! We here in no-cable land love TVOntario (I discovered that I have the postal code memorized. Wha?) and love Studio2 with Steve Paikin and Paula Todd. My segment is a panel discussion that will be hosted by Paula Todd. I think it will be Friday's show but I am completely guessing and basing my guess on the fact that we are taping on Friday afternoon. Regardless, I am giddy with anticipation.
March 15, 2006
Better Be Quiet, Now
It's 11am and I am ready to crawl back into bed. I am not very articulate between the hours of 9 and 11.
I plan to enjoy a full day of sloth next week.
In the meantime one of my favourite garden events of the year, Seedy Saturday, is taking place in Toronto this weekend. I'd swear it was March 1st about 5 minutes ago!
March 14, 2006
From the Rose Garden
Cities love to self-define with subtitles. Portland's is the Rose City.
March 12, 2006
Blossom
- "If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive." - Audre Lorde
I am very pleased with myself; there are no conditions, or what-ifs, or shouldas, or couldas, or criticisms.
I took the day off yesterday and I couldn't have lucked into better weather. It was beautiful. I walked and walked and took pictures, and saw things. It really was wonderful to just BE. I am proud of recent accomplishments, but I was becoming increasingly desperate for some time to live and produce without conditions, or pressure.
One afternoon of release was all it took to get my mind swimming wildly. By chance, we happened upon an art bookstore on our travels. By chance my hand went straight for a book called, "The Restless Decade." At that exact moment four simple words that perfectly encapsulate my intentions behind the last few years of picture-making popped into my head like it had been there all along. I still can't believe it. Serendipitous.
Song: "I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to be Free" by Nina Simone.
Oh and I almost forgot: we saw six herons yesterday! I had just talked (in Friday's Guerilla Gardening presentation) about the city as a place of surprises and the possiblility of co-existing alongside nature and there it was. It was hard to walk away. I couldn't believe how many people walked right past without looking!
March 09, 2006
Untitled (Yellow Snow)
Thankfully we do not have this kind of snow here. I think Stratford is in the snow belt so boy was I shocked when I got off the train from nearly bare sidewalks to MASSIVE snow drifts. I felt like a real tea suckn'* city slicker with my completely inappropriate "winter" attire. In all fairness even I don't understand the crazy women who try to navigate drifts in heels (actually I swore off heels in grade 7 so I don't "get" the concept of heels regardless). All that snow sure came in handy for the photo-taking though. It was nice to drop in, take some photos of clean, white mounds (minus the yellow snow you see in this pic) and then go back to snowless, easy-to-navigate streets. Thank you pollution for giving us the gift of a climate altered by at least 1/2 a zone!
That said, I am giving a presentation tomorrow morning at Canada Blooms on the topic of Guerilla Gardening. I am very nervous but also excited as it is an opportunity to bring up and hopefully discuss some thoughts that have been swirling around in my head lately regarding the potential that the act of gardening holds to evoke both personal change and beyond. I'm a little pissed with myself because I had the opportunity to challenge some conventional ideas about gardening in a public forum a week ago and I did not rise to the occassion. I have got to get used to the fact that being an outsider is a position that holds a lot of value. Playing it safe rarely does anyone any good.
*Overheard many years ago in the middle of the night, by a scary guy, at a truck stop, deep in the Pocanos on a road trip to Atlantic City. Mind you here in Canada a good many of us like our tea, city dwellers or not.
Today's Song: I've kinda been listening to the same stuff over and over simply because I'm too busy to play albums or make a new playlist. I'm still listening to my January playlist!
"Easy Way Out" Elliott Smith. I like the way he expresses hostility towards the person in question, despite whether it is a third person or himself. The second verse is great.
March 08, 2006
Southern Ontario Charm
It's funny. I go all the way to the west coast and take four rolls of film, totaling 48 photos (an all-time low I'd say). Then, I take a 2 hour train ride to little 'ole Stratford, Ontario and snap off 10 frames within a short 15 minute walk through a random neighbourhood. There's just something about the familarity of this landscape and the architecture that inspires me. There's a lot I hate about these parts. Having grown up here I am regularly confronted with design elements that are reminders of not-so-great experiences, but on the other hand I feel more and more like I am not finished here yet. Sticking around has been meaningful to me on some level. And photographing it has been a real window into my own head.
It's hard to see in this image but there is a tiny Canadian flag hanging in the window of this cottage-style house. Everything about this scene is really, really familar in a way that is both comforting and sinister. I know EXACTLY what it smells like inside that house.
And I have said it before but it seems I will NEVER get over the scallop fixation. I have been continuously using scallops in my design work for more than six years now and I have photographed scallops countless times over the last few years. Sometimes I worry about becoming a one-trick pony but man, scallops are something. I guess it's because they're a design element that are both very simple, yet loaded with meaning.
March 07, 2006
March 06, 2006
March 02, 2006
Mossy Tree
Japanese Garden: Portland
One of the coolest things about Portland were the trees covered in moss and lichens. Neat.
You would not believe the ridiculous lengths I went to today to secure a decent strawberry pot for my demonstration this coming Wed. Absurd. And when I think about the amount of dough I blew on cabs... well that's just slightly less hilarious.
And now we shove off for more of the talking about the gardening, and the plants, and such. I really wanted to fit 'gardening' and 'motherfucker' together in a sentence but alas I don't have an ounce of wit left in me to make it happen.
Crossing my fingers that everything comes together to allow for a few moments of picture making. Here's hoping that Stratford isn't all tight-lipped quaintness but is bordered by pockets of pleasent misery. Actually I will take kitschy quaint too. For some reason I imagine it to be a lot like Niagara-on-the-Lake; a delightful mix of fudge stands, historic plaques, flower-gun gardens, and Trisha Romance.
Japanese Garden: Portland
I liked this place a lot. There were lots of interesting staking ideas I had never seen before. Wish we had something like this here. Serenity NOW!
I posted a link on the ReadyMade blog yesterday that is pretty exciting. I want to give it a try (when I come out from under this work) but unfortunately I gave away all my film processing equipment (tanks, etc) a few years ago having decided I would never touch the chemicals again. So many things to try, never enough time.